You may have been praised for being capable, but you were rarely supported when you needed comfort. Many clients tell me they were admired for being strong, or heard something like, “I never have to worry about you.” But they were never asked how they were really doing.

Many of the women I work with come into January exhausted from the family chaos of the holidays, drained from traveling, and weighed down by all the sweet treats and late nights. Personally, I was so ready to get back into a routine, cook some real food again, and go to bed at a decent time.

If that’s you too, there is nothing wrong with needing a slow start to the new year.

Boundaries are not magic words that make everyone instantly respectful. Boundaries are not even actions that others take at all. They are actions for you to apply that protect your time, energy, and values.

We’ve all seen the Pinterest version of self-care: bath bombs, face masks, and $8 lattes. Those can be lovely, but real self-care in the winter is about comfort and connection that actually restores you.

On November 1, all the holiday influencing comes out of the woodwork. Social media doesn’t make this any easier. One scroll and suddenly everyone’s home looks like a Ralph Lauren Christmas magazine spread.

So if you’re feeling like you’re falling short this season, you’re not alone. You’re just seeing a filtered version of reality and comparing it to your behind-the-scenes humanity.

In therapy, I help clients see that it is so normal to feel the disappointment and chaos of these transitions and lost dreams. We work through those early beliefs about success, love, and self-worth so clients can establish a new vision for what their 20s will really look like.

Let’s be real: healing isn’t always a glow-up. Sometimes it looks like crying more, feeling more, or suddenly seeing all the red flags you used to ignore.

You might wonder, “Am I going backward?”

But here’s the truth: You’re not regressing. You’re finally being honest with yourself. You’re feeling what you’ve long held back, and that’s a sign of deep courage, not failure.

Almost every client I’ve worked with has shared that they always extend grace to friends or family or even coworkers. But that grace stops when they get to themselves. It is clear to me that if you can have grace for other people, you have the capacity to have grace for yourself.

These summer reads are not meant to replace therapy, but they can surely enrich it. Each book invites reflections, validation, and a deeper sense of self-awareness and acceptance. If any of these books resonate with where you are right now, consider adding them to your summer reading list and letting it be a part of your healing and growth.

When we can identify how it is that we responded to distress in childhood, we also get a peek into how we are managing relationships today. This can lead us to understanding a core wound, which needs attention. And if we process the unresolved pain on an individual level, it will help restore the relationship pain too.

Although therapy is a great place to process one specific issue, therapy can go far beyond symptom relief. Today, I’m highlighting the deeper, often transformational topics for therapy that a good therapist can help you explore.

Let’s walk through what you can expect in your first session, how to calm those nerves, and how to begin building trust in the therapy relationship.