Winter Self-Care When Everything Feels Cold and Heavy

Why Winter Feels Hard

When the weather turns cold and the daylight fades before dinner, something seems to shift. Suddenly, everything feels slower, heavier, darker.

Maybe you’re noticing you’re more tired. Maybe it’s harder to feel motivated. Maybe you just want to crawl under a blanket and not come out until April.

If that sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. You’re a human responding to darkness, cold, and less connection: all things our nervous systems notice, even if we pretend we’re fine.

As a therapist, I often hear clients say things like:

“I don’t feel like myself in the winter.”
“I just can’t get it together.”
“Everyone else seems fine, but I’m stuck.”

Let’s talk about how to care for yourself when everything feels dimmer. Not with unrealistic routines or forced positivity, but with warmth, community, and small choices that actually help.

Why Winter Affects Us So Deeply

Winter slows everything down, and for people who are used to pushing through, that can feel uncomfortable. The stillness can bring up emotions we’ve been avoiding, or highlight how disconnected we feel from others.

You might notice:

• You crave more sleep or comfort food.

• You withdraw socially, even though you miss connection.

• You feel less motivated and more self-critical.

• You question your productivity or worth.

As a therapist, I see first-hand how women are expected to “do it all” during the winter season, yet there still exists an undeniable need to slow down. For so many of my clients, winter is a time where they notice their limits and their capacity in a very real way. We end up talking about self-care that is both practical and nourishing, and also normalizing that they’re not alone in this experience.

Self-Care That’s Actually Nourishing

We’ve all seen the Pinterest version of self-care: bath bombs, face masks, and $8 lattes. Those can be lovely, but real self-care in the winter is about comfort and connection that actually restores you.

Here are some cozy, realistic ways to start:

1. Build small, sensory rituals.
   Light a candle before work. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket. Sip something warm intentionally. Winter is a time where warmth and light don’t come as naturally, so look for ways to bring comforting sensory rituals in.

2. Reframe rest as resilience.
   It’s easy to see the winter season as a busy season. Holidays, family visits, and traveling become all-consuming. But rest is necessary and will help sustain you through the busyness. Consider rest as a proactive and tangible way that you can prepare for the holidays.

3. Add light where you can.
   Try sitting near windows, using a sunlight lamp, or taking brief outdoor walks. Even a few minutes of light helps your mood regulation. If getting regular sunlight is difficult, consult with your primary doctor to determine if taking a Vitamin D supplement would be appropriate.

4. Move gently, not for achievement.
   A slow stretch, a walk in the cold air, or dancing in your kitchen counts. The goal is connection, not performance.

5. Feed yourself with warmth and care.
   Think comfort: soups, teas, and meals that feel grounding. Some of my favorites are crockpot or soups, like this Pumpkin Chicken Curry and Mushroom and Wild Rice Soup, that are both delicious and nourishing. Nourishment is self-care.

Creating Connection in a Season of Isolation

Winter can make us feel separate from others, both physically and emotionally. But healing often happens in connection, even in small ways.

Try these steps to build or maintain community during the darker months:

1. Reach out before you need to.
   Send the text, even if you think it’s “too late” or “out of the blue.” People want to hear from you, and sometimes it takes initiating the conversation.

2. Create cozy micro-moments.
   Invite a friend to watch a show together virtually or cook the same meal apart. Connection doesn’t have to be complicated.

3. Find a shared rhythm.
   Join a weekly class, book club, or online support space. Community doesn’t have to mean “best friends.” In some seasons, it simply means regular connection with others.

4. Practice self-compassion when you isolate.
   Some days, reaching out feels too hard. That’s okay. Start again when you can.

💬 Therapist Note:
I understand that initiating connection can feel like a risk. It’s uncomfortable to reach out and ask for help or connection when you aren’t familiar with doing so. So start small. Reach out to someone who you know you can trust. Send a text instead of calling. And know that you don’t have to put on a happy face; it’s okay to show up just as you are.

Focus on What’s Within Your Control

When the world feels dark or heavy, it helps to shrink your focus. We aren’t meant to do everything all the time.

Here’s a grounding checklist:

• What’s one small thing I can do today to feel a little better?

• What’s something I can let go of this week?

• Who can I reach out to (even briefly) for connection or support?

• What comforts me right now? A sound, smell, or ritual?

Remember: self-care isn’t about controlling the weather or politics. It’s about tending gently to what’s within your circle of influence: your to-do list, your boundaries, your body and mind.

Gentle Reminders for Wintering Well

Let’s remember that winter is truly a season for slowing down and cozying up. So you’re not falling behind, you’re following nature’s rhythm. It is a wise and sustainable practice to rest. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself burning out, frustrated, exhausted, or even ill. Take care of yourself, and know that you don’t have to do anything in order to be worthy of care.

Journaling Prompt

Consider what is holding you back from allowing self-care. Maybe it’s fear, perfectionism, or the expectations to do it all.

“When I stop trying to power through winter, I start to notice…”

You don’t have to be endlessly resilient. You’re allowed to feel the weight of these months and still be doing enough.

If this post resonates, and you’d like support learning how to slow down, reconnect, and feel more grounded this season, therapy can help. Together, we can explore what truly restores you and create a pace that honors both your strength and your sensitivity.

You can learn more about therapy with me or schedule a consultation today.